Love, etc.

This is a fantastic rant about dating and I enjoyed it so much, I thought that I should share it. I don’t agree with everything, and it doesn’t speak for me 100%; I feel it could do without so much swearing, but its general sentiment is something I appreciate enormously.

“You are required to treat me like Audrey f**king Hepburn on this first date.”

It’s been a long time since I’ve dated anyone, and that was largely due to the fact that I was not ready to do so… but now, the idea is something I find approachable. Dating should be thrilling,  and I should get giddy, with butterflies in my stomach at the thought of getting to spend an enjoyable evening with you. I will dress to the god damn nines, and so will you. We will look fabulous, and heads will turn.

The problem is that we, as in this generation, have somehow managed to make it too easy not to date. In fact, we’ve gone beyond that. Dating is difficult, and far too much so; at times it feels impossible. To quote my friend Alex Petrusek, one of my very favorite humans on this earth, who I believe is, in turn, quoting a friend of his: “we’re a generation that can f**k whomever we please, but can’t get a date to save our lives…”

Chivalry isn’t dead, and what I want, for everyone, is for us to find someone who treats us well, with the respect and love that we are all deserving of, and in these actions, doesn’t make us feel undeserving of basic human kindness and decency or uncomfortable when we experience these things.

A few weeks ago, in Egypt, while on a day-trip from Aswan to Abu Simbel, I got chatting to another of the travelers on the excursion. He was charming and interesting. We explored the Philae Temple together and I found myself oddly drawn to this engaging stranger. It was a hot day, and he bought me an ice-cream; we enjoyed them while we continued to walk around the island, and you know what? It was the sweetest thing that any man has done for me in a long time… which sounds silly really, because it was something so simple; but that’s the point, I think. Making someone feel special isn’t difficult, at least it shouldn’t be, and seemingly small acts can have great effect.

The point of all this? I’m not sure, entirely, but I do know that I’m ready for something real. Something that requires effort– from both parties.

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3 responses to “Love, etc.

  1. Elaine Freundlich

    I am glad that I’m not young now. When my generation were your age, young men treated us with a certain amount of respect. I don’t believe in total equality; don’t get me wrong, I don’t think we should go back to a time when a woman was a man’s chattel but I think things have gone too far. In trying to prove that women can do everything that men can do, things have gone too far. There’s no respect and no pride. I don’t believe that all young women want this; I think young women still want to be cherished and adored. I also think that young men are confused; I think there is an inner feeling that they should be ‘looking after’ girlfriends but if they show their true feelings, they will be derided by their peers, male and female. You will meet somebody who cares enough about you to treat you with respect and who will dare to look after you.

    • Elaine, I completely agree with everything you have written. I think that there still are real men out there, but sadly they are in great minority. It’s a case of not settling for anything less than you want and deserve, and I’m willing to wait until I find what’s right. 🙂

  2. Elaine Freundlich

    So many girls do settle for less than they deserve but I know this won’t happen to you. By the end of this (travelling) year, you will know yourself, and what you want, so well. Mr Right is out there; he just doesn’t know it yet!!

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